Let me be honest, writing about marriage and relationships makes me nervous. I feel like I have no right to say anything about either. I’ve not been married long enough. And I’ve made some very selfish choices in past relationships. So, I want you to know that I write because I feel that God has put it on my heart to share. I write because I want people who do have marital advice to share their wisdom with anyone who reads my blog and with me. I write because I need accountability. I write because I need guidance. So, don’t keep your wisdom to yourself.
As I have said in the past, I am no relationship guru. I have some great ideas, but the execution of them never took place in past relationships. But that’s all done. I am married now, so I’m on a whole new level now. In other words, what used to work or get me by won’t anymore. Nor should I want it to.
I say all that to say, that this new idea isn’t to make it seem like I have the perfect marriage. I don’t even know what that is, except for the symbolism of Christ and His Church. That’s the only perfect marriage I know of. But that is another blog for another day. I’m going to start “journaling” a Marriage 101. Not because I know the ends and outs, but because I’m going through them currently as a newlywed.
My husband and I have a philosophy I like to call, The Not Going Anywhere Philosophy.
This philosophy pretty much means, he ain’t going anywhere, and I ain’t going anywhere, so we better pray about it and figure it out. If we got married because we believed it was God’s will like we said, then we don’t need to go anywhere. If when we were dating there was no desire to be anywhere else, there still needs to be the same commitment more than ever in marriage.
It hurts when I say things I shouldn’t have said to him. It hurts when he says the wrong things too. We hurt each other. Not because we want to, but because we have a human nature. It’s human nature to want to say and do what you want, and to not always think of the consequences or effects it will have on someone else. Even if that is someone you love.
But we made a commitment. We committed that we weren’t going anywhere on the day we said I do. So the only thing left is to figure it out. There’s only about two options anyway. We can have a long, miserable lifetime staying mad at each other. Or we can pray and figure it out.
Because the bottom line is, when you’re not going anywhere, all you want to do is make the most of where you currently are.
And for anyone reading that has a tip of the day for married couples or those considering marriage, please share. I know I need it, so someone else probably does too. Thanks for your wisdom in advance.
As always, this post serves as a reminder to me. This is the promise I am making to God, my husband, and my marriage. This is public accountability for those days that are far from perfect. Tough times come, but they also go as well. So if the next time I read this, I am having a tough time, here’s your own advice: pray and figure it out!