If you want God to work on your marriage, prepare for Him to work on you. After our marriage class this idea came to mind. It’s really true, because I have experienced it. Want an example?
So, a few years ago I started reading “The Power of a Praying Wife.” I was like oh, yeah Brandon is about get worked on. Yes, Lord. (Let me say that Brandon is great. I just wanted him to the perfect Prince Charming, the mind-reader, etc. He’s a great husband, I’m just spoiled.) But do you know who the first prayer in that book is for? Yep, it’s for the wife. Why? Because before I can expect a change in Brandon, I need to make sure I’m willing to allow God to change me. I need to not pretend like I’m perfect and don’t need work, because I do.
Honestly, those moments carried on throughout the book. Every time I thought God, “we’re” going to teach Brandon something with this, was when God taught me. First off, God taught me that He doesn’t need my help. Secondly, He taught me that what needed work was me and my approach towards Brandon. God taught me how poorly I communicated, not how badly I thought Brandon needed to change his approach. I realized that I didn’t leave him room to respond. When I attacked, he’d react (verbally of course).
And this is really only one instance of God showing me that He is going to change me every time I ask Him to change or improve my marriage. Why? Because a marriage takes two and we are in fact two imperfect people who need work. So in order to word towards God’s perfect idea of marriage, it is going to take God’s work on imperfect people.
We mess up. I mess up. But it is only when I allow God to work on me that I am able to clean the mess up. That’s not to say that I shouldn’t pray for God to work on my husband (and he should pray the same for me). It is to say that I need work too. And I need God to work on me just as much as I thought I needed Him to work on my husband.