Sometimes I’m in the shower and I think to myself, wouldn’t it be great if with every drop of water that comes out of this faucet my sins would be washed down the drain with it? Then God says, with every drop of blood My Son spared, your sins were washed down the drain.
It would be great to not have to be reminded of that. But it would be better to not do the things I’ll need to pray for forgiveness for later on.
Sometimes I feel like we create a sin scale. In my mind sometimes it seems like I’ve said, “Well at least I didn’t go this far.” Well that shouldn’t be good enough. And the problem with that is the fact that I’ve gone so far before that I’ve set a standard to at least not go there again. But everything leading up to it is still sinful.
That sin scale tends to make us feel like we’ve done better, therefore we’re doing OK. Not quite. Just because you’ve done it better still doesn’t mean you’ve done it right. And that’s what I have to remember. I can’t be happy with stopping before things get too far gone, because the fact that it started is still sinful.
Now, I am trying to not beat myself up, but I also have to not pat myself on the back for not doing what I shouldn’t have ever done anyway.