I’ll be honest, I kind of slowed down on writing about relationships because I felt that I had no business doing it. I mean I’m not in one. I’m not married. How would I know how to have a successful relationship? All of mine have been tragic crash and burn, no hopes of resuscitation relationships.
But, I have something to say to all of that, who cares!?
The thing about knowing what’s right to do in a situation is that it’s the right thing to do! You don’t have to be in the midst of it to know that much. I’ve been bad enough at relationships to be able to tell people what they don’t need to do. And I’ve been around enough married people to see what does seem to work and what doesn’t. And most importantly I’ve been around people to know that what’s right is right.
It doesn’t take me being in a relationship to be able to say that good relationships need great communication. I don’t have to be married to know that you shouldn’t go to bed angry at your spouse.
I think one of the biggest issues about giving and receiving advice is that people are too caught up on what the source looks like or how old they are and so forth. There are too many external factors playing a role in a decision that is internal anyway.
I don’t need to be 70 to know that marriage is hard work. I don’t need to be a marriage counselor to know that a relationship can’t thrive without proper communication. And I don’t need to be married 40 years to know that I can’t assume my partner knows why I’m mad.
We don’t need pedigrees for everything. We don’t need to have done everything right all the time to know how to not do it wrong. We don’t even need to have experienced it all to know that that certain approach might not work.
What we do need, is people who genuinely care about making things better. I am not in a relationship. But I do genuinely care for those who are. And I do genuinely believe that what I have to say just so happens to be some things that will make a relationship better.
Have I tested every single thing? No. Have I done some things wrong to know the right approach? Yes. Regardless of any of those answers, should it really matter if the advice works? No.
The best thing about advice is that even if no one else uses it, you still can. At the end of the day, I have advice available. And I am going to keep giving it. There are too many people out there not sharing what needs to be said because they don’t believe they have the right to. In my opinion, you don’t have the right not to.
Please share your wisdom. Someone needs it, even if they don’t know it yet. That someone might even be you.