I very much understand that relationships aren’t easy. But I do believe that when we’re in them, there are certain things we can do to make them a little less hard.
I’ve decided that openness is very necessary. Yes, I believe there is a right to privacy, but I also believe there is a certain healthiness to a relationship that is open. You just have to choose what part of your relationship that is applicable to.
In dating a man that has dealt with dishonesty in his past relationships, it’s naturally harder for him to trust in newer situations due to the defense mechanism he has had to form from previous hurts. So, in knowing that, I would much rather eliminate anything in a relationship that makes it harder emotionally and mentally.
There really is no need for me to converse with anyone I used to date or be attracted to once I’m in a relationship. What could’ve been wasn’t, so there’s really not much for us to talk about. And if my current boyfriend doesn’t have an issue with my having friendships with the opposite sex, I want to further the trust even more by involving him in the conversation.
Does trust come into play? Of course it does. No doubt. I do believe that a man should be able to trust that his spouse is trustworthy. But I also think it’s nice to remind him why I’m trustworthy. And sometimes, that might mean showing him my phone without him asking to see it.
That didn’t take much out of me. It simply took a little effort. It wasn’t necessary. But it did eliminate the possible need to ever ask about my communication or relationship with a person of the opposite sex.
Relationships have so many difficulties without creating any more. And they definitely have enough difficulties especially when all that was needed in a situation was for someone to bypass unnecessary roughness. When we know what makes us tick and are bothered that people do it anyway, why do we not put that same thought process in motion when in relationships?
No matter how much I believe in leaving the past behind, it makes us who we are. It would be great if I didn’t have so much of prior relationships carrying over, but what is best is to not have prior relationships’ baggage carrying over. Keep the lessons of love, but throw out the rest.
I wonder if I thought a little less about what I felt like I shouldn’t have to do, focused a little more on what the relationship needed me to do, and chose to only have relationship issues that come with relationships instead of creating issues, how far I would have come.
You know, I think one of the hardest parts about a relationship is realizing that it’s you.