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Ex Effect

Having to prove that I deserved you is the worst part of it all.

I never want to be in another relationship where I’m not a partner with someone. I can’t even believe I allowed myself the dissatisfaction of being in a relationship where I felt like I had to feel deserving of someone.

Where was my self-confidence and where is it that even till today I perform with the thought of proving that I was deserving of you. It’s not right.

I’m deserving of the best. Which is what girls need to know. We are all deserving of the best.

I’m deserving of appreciation. I’m deserving of love, even in my imperfection.

I’m deserving of adoration, even in my mess. I’m deserving of equality, even in our differences.

And I can’t believe I ever settled for less. And I can’t believe I even let people convince me I was not good enough for you. When you weren’t even the best for me. And I can’t believe you allowed me to feel convinced of such foolishness.

A relationship is two equally messy people coming together to try to make something perfect. Somehow true love, and our imperfections make a perfect love when it really is in fact true.

No one goes out feeling imperfect or like they are not contributing to the relationship, because true love doesn’t function like that. True love cannot even survive in that state.  Which is simply why we didn’t.

I’m deserving of the best. And so are you.

And sometimes we have to realize that we are not that for each other.

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